[ The rest, not so much. Gansey doesn't like hiding things from his friends. It makes him into a hypocrite, and he knows it. He doesn't want to be that person. He wants to give them the honesty he's always asked for from them.
That's just not so easy in practice. He sighs. ]
We weren't trying to rub it in anyone's face. I was worried about...
[ He hesitates, and then closes his eyes. If Ronan has guessed, then is it possible...? ]
Adam. Because he was with her when I started to feel...and then they ended things, and when we talked about it, we just didn't want to hurt him. And I thought it might bother you as well, honestly, if I played favourites like that.
[ Because he's always refused to. He's not looking at Ronan. ]
[ The reminder that Adam liked Blue - had liked Blue in that way stings a little, but not as much as it used to, when he was looking at Adam and Adam wasn't looking back. When things were different and more confusing and slightly more hurtful. Ronan's known, for a while. ]
You think I'd be jealous. That Adam'll be jealous?
[ Ronan sucks his bottom lip between his teeth, the noise loud in the night. He can't begrudge Gansey for thinking that, from either of them. But that also means that Gansey doesn't know. Gansey hasn't noticed.
Honestly? Ronan thought he'd been obvious. ]
I don't know if you were wrong. I just - I'd rather you were happy, is all. [ Ronan is rarely this earnest, but it's easier, when it's just the two of them. ] Do you love her?
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no subject
No.
[ The rest, not so much. Gansey doesn't like hiding things from his friends. It makes him into a hypocrite, and he knows it. He doesn't want to be that person. He wants to give them the honesty he's always asked for from them.
That's just not so easy in practice. He sighs. ]
We weren't trying to rub it in anyone's face. I was worried about...
[ He hesitates, and then closes his eyes. If Ronan has guessed, then is it possible...? ]
Adam. Because he was with her when I started to feel...and then they ended things, and when we talked about it, we just didn't want to hurt him. And I thought it might bother you as well, honestly, if I played favourites like that.
[ Because he's always refused to. He's not looking at Ronan. ]
Obviously I was wrong.
no subject
You think I'd be jealous. That Adam'll be jealous?
[ Ronan sucks his bottom lip between his teeth, the noise loud in the night. He can't begrudge Gansey for thinking that, from either of them. But that also means that Gansey doesn't know. Gansey hasn't noticed.
Honestly? Ronan thought he'd been obvious. ]
I don't know if you were wrong. I just - I'd rather you were happy, is all. [ Ronan is rarely this earnest, but it's easier, when it's just the two of them. ] Do you love her?