These powers are fascinating, Parrish. We have to be inventive if we want to understand them, and my experience is that there has to be a level of need to make them work.
[ His next response takes a while to come through. ]
the powers must take what's already there and base themselves on it. your file says you can duplicate yourself, right? and you've always had to be so many different people. so it makes sense.
[ And Adam doesn't want to get hit. If only he'd had that before. ]
[ Gansey pauses, reading over those words. A little line forms between his eyes. A sudden memory strikes him; Blue in his car, telling him that she didn't like when he used that voice, his fake voice. Gansey hadn't thought of it as fake. He doesn't think of it as that. He doesn't think of himself as being many different people. Is this what Adam has always thought?
Do the others agree?
Is this how they think of him? Is it true?
That's disconcerting. And disturbing, particularly if it is true. He thinks of his powers with less certainty, and his hand lifts to run an unconscious line along the shell of his ear.
He needs to answer Adam. Best to distract from the worry. ]
I can duplicate myself. It'll help, when I want to be in two places at once. Which is often, admittedly.
But I managed it to bring Lynch home when he collapsed. I needed another body, and suddenly I had one. It was easy after that. I made some this morning, just to test it out.
[ WILL ADAM PARRISH EVER NOT HURT RICHARD CAMPBELL GANSEY THE THIRD? probably not. ]
is it weird? like do they act like you? i want to see it sometime. maybe when you're throwing things at me you can take it in turns with gansey iv and v?
[ Diversion: successful. Gansey breathes, and packs the worry away.
Inwardly, very inwardly, he knows this is the problem. It's all the things he doesn't show, everything he doesn't let them see. Will any of them ever see me as I am?
Unlikely. He cultivates a shield between the Gansey he shows them and the Gansey that's afraid. How can he expect them to see what he conceals? He doesn't think he wants them to. In the end, it's all just empty yearning. A hole inside him that grows larger with each passing year. ]
It should have been, but it wasn't. And isn't. They act like me, they know my mind. They have my mind.
After we got home, I put Ronan to bed and then thought about how I'd undo the clone. I touched him, and he vanished again, but I remembered him. I remembered being him. That's how it's been with every one I've tested. I'll show you tonight.
[ Gansey is Adam's King. Seeing him as someone that hurts would bring him down to his level. And he's no longer sure he wants that any more. ]
so you absorb their memories? that's handy. you could make one do all the research about this place while you do other stuff. you could have a permanent ronan babysitter.
[ That, actually, is something that crossed his mind.
Along with a permanent version of himself at Adam's side. And another one, to make sure Noah was all right and not abandoning his body anywhere. And another one, to -
To not obsess over whether Blue was thinking about him, or whether she's content, or missing home, or whether she'd like to go out for a while, or -
No. None of that. Research would be better. ]
Honestly, there's so much about this place to take in that it's nearly overwhelming. It wouldn't hurt to have a few extra bodies on the job. I'm not sure how many I can create at once.
I don't want to collapse like Lynch. If you were there, it wouldn't be a problem.
[ Adam would only want Prime. Best not to broach the subject just yet. ]
we can try it out. see how many you can make and if that effects the time you can keep them going. did you notice if your strength was down? like, do they take a bit of you with them and leave you without it?
I didn't notice with the first one, but then my mind was all on Lynch.
The others did. I felt tired after I'd made half a dozen of them. I thought it might help me sleep, actually, but then I absorbed them all again and it was fine. Possibly if I'd not done that, the tiredness would have stayed. I won't know until I try again.
[ Hopefully with Adam at his side, just in case things get out of hand. He mentally adds it to the list of things they need to figure out; the way home, the history of this place, their powers. The list is ever-growing. ]
i really hope we're not all about to start fainting whenever we use our powers. so if they get tired themselves do you feel the extra tiredness? or is it just you reverting back to how you were before?
[ This is probably too many questions when Gansey hasn't even really done much with his power. Adam shouldn't be asking him all of this. ]
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That's how mine clicked, anyway. ]
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the powers must take what's already there and base themselves on it.
your file says you can duplicate yourself, right? and you've always had to be so many different people. so it makes sense.
[ And Adam doesn't want to get hit. If only he'd had that before. ]
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Do the others agree?
Is this how they think of him? Is it true?
That's disconcerting. And disturbing, particularly if it is true. He thinks of his powers with less certainty, and his hand lifts to run an unconscious line along the shell of his ear.
He needs to answer Adam. Best to distract from the worry. ]
I can duplicate myself. It'll help, when I want to be in two places at once. Which is often, admittedly.
But I managed it to bring Lynch home when he collapsed. I needed another body, and suddenly I had one. It was easy after that. I made some this morning, just to test it out.
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is it weird?
like do they act like you? i want to see it sometime. maybe when you're throwing things at me you can take it in turns with gansey iv and v?
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Inwardly, very inwardly, he knows this is the problem. It's all the things he doesn't show, everything he doesn't let them see. Will any of them ever see me as I am?
Unlikely. He cultivates a shield between the Gansey he shows them and the Gansey that's afraid. How can he expect them to see what he conceals? He doesn't think he wants them to. In the end, it's all just empty yearning. A hole inside him that grows larger with each passing year. ]
It should have been, but it wasn't. And isn't. They act like me, they know my mind. They have my mind.
After we got home, I put Ronan to bed and then thought about how I'd undo the clone. I touched him, and he vanished again, but I remembered him. I remembered being him. That's how it's been with every one I've tested. I'll show you tonight.
After you show me your shield. Fair is fair.
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so you absorb their memories? that's handy.
you could make one do all the research about this place while you do other stuff.
you could have a permanent ronan babysitter.
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Along with a permanent version of himself at Adam's side. And another one, to make sure Noah was all right and not abandoning his body anywhere. And another one, to -
To not obsess over whether Blue was thinking about him, or whether she's content, or missing home, or whether she'd like to go out for a while, or -
No. None of that. Research would be better. ]
Honestly, there's so much about this place to take in that it's nearly overwhelming. It wouldn't hurt to have a few extra bodies on the job. I'm not sure how many I can create at once.
I don't want to collapse like Lynch. If you were there, it wouldn't be a problem.
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we can try it out. see how many you can make and if that effects the time you can keep them going.
did you notice if your strength was down? like, do they take a bit of you with them and leave you without it?
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The others did. I felt tired after I'd made half a dozen of them. I thought it might help me sleep, actually, but then I absorbed them all again and it was fine. Possibly if I'd not done that, the tiredness would have stayed. I won't know until I try again.
[ Hopefully with Adam at his side, just in case things get out of hand. He mentally adds it to the list of things they need to figure out; the way home, the history of this place, their powers. The list is ever-growing. ]
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so if they get tired themselves do you feel the extra tiredness? or is it just you reverting back to how you were before?
[ This is probably too many questions when Gansey hasn't even really done much with his power. Adam shouldn't be asking him all of this. ]
sorry. we'll figure it out when we test it.
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I was only aware of my own feelings. I couldn't tell what they were thinking, either, not until I absorbed them again.
They seemed to be their own men.
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Myselves. I think we find that offensive. We hate numbers sitting after our names, too, so best avoid that.
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[ but transformers. ]
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ACCIDENTAL SUBSCRIPTION FOREVER.
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